The 5 of Wands energy today is prickly, irritable. Ready to throw down to defend your turf at the slightest slight. It's not a bad thing when you feel prickly! It's a totally normal human response. The prickly feeling is like a motion sensor alarm, usually it goes off when one of your boundaries is close to being crossed, or where an important need isn't being met.
Are you giving too much, not feeling valued, feeling vulnerable or unsafe? Irritation is piping up so you can take care of that boundary, by stating your actual needs and desires.
How freaking smart are our bodies to do this for us? Our bodies are literally picking up environmental info all the time and transmitting to our conscious minds via our emotions. When we're willing to listen, we have the opportunity to understand and take care of ourselves better. When we're not willing or don't know how to listen, we stay in a state of irritation where everything annoys us and we don't know why.
This is a great reminder for me. I've lived whole years in this constantly irritated state and I still experience it from time to time. I've been feeling it this week, so this is a message I needed for sure. I'm grateful I have the tools now to work with it and listen to my body. That helps this cycle be shorter and less frequent (or prevented!), and I can be more patient with myself and others.
If you're feeling irritable today, I invite you to listen to your body and emotions and thank them for showing you what needs attention. And please share what tools help you feel better!
I hope this helps!
Self Care is Showing Up
Self care is showing up for what you *know* is good for your heart, even when it'd be easier to flake. Like meeting up with friends during perfect rainy nap weather.
(I love when the cards are sassy and literal.)
Ace of Wands
Happy Monday, hope you are all harnessing your fire and raising your vibration.
Mountain Magic
Page of Wands :
Learning to let ambition soften from some grabby do-it-all mindset to playful wondering, and trying things out just to see what happens, without expectations about the outcome.
The true inventor's mind, just experiencing, not controlling. Letting your inner fire be a thing you notice and play with. That's what it's here for! Wands have this amazing invitation to let go and let your energy be playful. But that requires you to accept that you can't do it all or control it all. You are not meant to control everything, nor is control actually enjoyable. It's like a drug, it doesn't satisfy a true need so you still have this craving for more. (Hello yes I struggle with control issues alll the time and I rarely feel like I'm doing "enough.")
When you can accept that (for a little while, because this is something we have to learn over and over), THAT is Page of Wands energy. Just being able to say, "I don't know what will happen next, but in this moment I feel a spark and I'm going to try out this idea and see what happens."
That approach to fire and ambition means you can be open to all possibilities, including the possibilities that this one idea may not pan out, or that it might work so well it'll take on a life of its own. Remembering you don't have control of the outcome even in your most inspired ideas and careful planning, so you might as well have some fun. And no matter the outcome, trying again and again. By not putting your energy into trying to control, you have more left to put to creative, fun use.
I'm taking this mountain message to heart, remembering that I can play and experience my fire in a grounded, way, and don't have to grind so hard.
🔹When you pull a card and it matches the landscape 👀
photo from Mount Ranier yesterday
🔹 Ranier is a SNOW CAPPED VOLCANO, talk about grounded fire.
Full Moon in Scorpio
The card I drew for this moon is Ace of Cups. The invitation here is to go deep, get weird, and embrace our shadow, all in the service of love.
Happy full moon, beautiful people!
Forgiveness and The Devil
Forgive yourself to heal yourself.
There is nothing you can't heal.
There is nothing you can't forgive.
What The Devil card shows us is where we hold shame about something we did that we believe we can never heal or forgive.
Believing something is unforgivable is a way to feel in control of a situation. If you tell yourself that you will never ever forgive yourself for a thing, then you are creating a cage for your own power of forgiveness, not the thing, whatever it is.
Forgiving does not mean condoning harmful behavior or allowing it to happen again. It's about letting go of the story of it, and taking ownership for your feelings. It's about offering healing and love to yourself.
This is deep, hard stuff to work through, but its part of being human. I'm doing it, too.
Big love to @brooklyntarot, @wildsoulhealing, and the rest of the #brooklynfools for holding space for all of us to share these big scary feelings so we can keep healing them.
❤️❤️❤️ @heatherhogandc @darylkovalich @_p_yoon @puhluh @paula__dixon @swellest @anneka.skywalker @stefaniecaponi @margaretyesmargaret (any other Fools on Instagram?)
Old Year Out, New Year In
2016 has been a year of cracking open and growing, in ways I never had imagined. I'm going to reflect on this and put together a longer post on all the changes and lessons of the year. One thing that I want to talk about now that I did this year, is complete my first ever Instagram tarot challenge. This was hosted by Jeff Hinshaw and Lindsay Mack, co-facilitators of The Brooklyn Fools, and two of the most tuned-in tarot readers in the world.
The whole month was an amazing learning experience (see all the posts on my Instagram here) and the last two days really brought some perspective to this time as we move from the old year to the new year.
Brooklyn Fools Instagram Challenge Days 30 & 31
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Day 30, The world. What karmic cycles did I fully release in 2016?
2 of Cups (then also drew 7 of Cups and The Magician, before chilling out and accepting the first draw).
I fully released connection and friendship JUST KIDDING. But I did release a lot of my expectations of how relationships "should" be, reservations about showing up and being vulnerable in existing relationships and taking chances on new relationships. I've put more time into long term friendships and my relationship with my beautiful partner.
I made a lot of new friends this year, because I got out of my comfort zone and actually did new social stuff with strangers. It's been great making connections, and that includes all of you lovely people I've met through Instagram.
And this occurred to me later, but a big thing I released, in terms of how I approach relationships, was my restaurant job. I worked at a great little neighborhood place where I met lots of my current friends, both as my coworkers and guests. I left to make more room for my healing works, and to have more quality time with friends and family. But that means that I no longer have this built-in face time in my week, and if I want to see people, I have to do it on purpose, and put effort into making it happen. This has been a amazing change, releasing what had become a barrier, albeit a pleasant one, to deeper, more purposeful connections.
The other clarifying cards I pulled because I was resisting the 2 of Cups, but they touch on other lessons of the year. I pulled 7 of Cups on day 27 of this challenge (message: get out of your head, your decision is made, now it's time to work on it), and The Magician (message: you have all this magic, time to put it out in the world) was my overall card for all of 2016.
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Day 31. What medicine does 2017 hold for me?
The Chariot.
HELL YES. I am so ready to move forward and embrace success and fulfill my potential. This sounds like another year of making things happen, which is great. The Chariot is balance in motion, and I'm ready to learn to incorporate some movement. I can do staying-still balance pretty well but this is new territory. I've learned so much this past year, and now it's time to put those lessons into action. I'm going to learn to trust the motion, trust what comes up for me, and work on moving from one yes to another. Bring it on, I'm ready.
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Thank you for hosting this challenge, Jeff and Lindsay. It's been amazing working with these questions and learning to tune in deeper and trust bigger. I'm grateful that you share your wisdom and experience so generously. Much love to everyone else who participated in the challenge, I've truly enjoyed reading your insights. I can't wait to see how we all continue evolving in 2017.
35th Birthday
35 is off to a great start. I'm going to bring big warm Queen of Wands energy as much as I can. It's ok to be seen, it's good! Being seen is not the same as seeking attention. I was raised to hide, told that I should not want to perform or dress up or speak up because that was showing off or being vain. I believed that for a long time but I'm breaking away from it bit by bit. Sometimes you just have to be out there, shining. It's not about attention, it's about truth. (And the card I pulled on my birthday yesterday for the year ahead: Judgement. Haha fancy seeing you here when I'm dealing with a whole bunch of feelings about life and purpose and loss.)
Full Moon in Aquarius
The Tower
Just in case you were getting comfortable with the status quo, here's The Tower! This shits-about-to-get-real vibe has been getting stronger for a while. Now it's here. Things are going to be confused, scary and downright weird for a little while as this energy plays out.
And this time The Tower isn't just a tear-down of your personal outdated beliefs (though yes, it is that, too). It's signaling a tipping point in the greater consciousness. We are ready as a society to evolve. The first step is ripping the old shit down. No more condoning systemic violence and oppression by your silence. Stand up and speak out. It's ok if you're uncomfortable, that's how you know you're growing. Put aside your own fear to see that other people's fear is what's causing them to lash out. The Tower is an invitation to feel your fear but know it's not the truth. And then do what's right, despite that fear.
When this tower falls, be there to build a better one that shelters all people. Be there to build walls out of love, not fear. And today, in any way you feel is right, do something concrete out of love. Even if it's just saying a genuine good morning to your neighbors. ⠀
Each day this week as the moon wanes from full, picture your fear dissolving little by little. And in its place, see that there is love, that it's been underneath all along. By the new moon, only love will be left. What does that look like for you?
Empress Energy
When you keep pulling the same card, think, nah that's not applicable to me, better check another deck—and get that card again. Ok, message received! Gotta accept that I'm in Empress energy right now. Even if I'm not feeling creative, nurturing, beautiful, or at all worthy of being seen. Saying yes to her. To me. ⠀
August: Integration
I pulled Temperance reversed for this month.
I pulled this card and spent a good portion of the afternoon thinking about how to share this message of integration. In the PCS image, an angel stands with one foot on land, one on water, pours the contents of two cups together at a sharp angle, and does all of these impossible things at the same time, effortlessly. She is entirely herself, the gentle master of all the elements of herself.
Then I talker with my partner, Ian, about how I was figuring out how all of my interests and skills align with my purpose here, to understand a bit about life and bring that to other people.
In our talk, I realized that balance supports the whole. You can never really separate one thing in your life from the rest. I can never really separate who I am from what I've experienced, the work I do, or my relationships with other people. The key is being able to hold space for these parts of myself, bless them, and blend them. If I can integrate the parts of myself, I can help another person integrate.
As the card right after Death, Temperance is also a wild rebirth. I had a life-changing reading with Lindsay Mack of Wild Soul Healing in January, and Temperance was the final card. I'm in tears now, realizing that it's come full circle. I've let die the old patterns and fears that held me back, and held me separate from myself. I'm ready now to live wholly from my heart, and serve with joy.
After talking with the beautiful Ian this evening, I felt like I had a new understanding of integration. I got home tonight and shuffled and asked if that changed the message for August, now that I've claimed integration as my work for the month. And Strength came up. A reminder to deal directly with my issues, hands-on, no matter what fear tells me. I am strong enough to live one true life in balance, and strong enough to help others do the same. And you, reading this, you are strong enough, too. May you be wise and wild and entirely yourself.
Hope in Heartbreak
In the wake of all of this bloodshed and heartbreak, I feel an unexpected thing: hope.
I feel hopeful, because the heartbreak that so many of us feel is is a powerful catalyst for change and healing.
Hope isn't wishing for some outside force to fix things in the distant future. It's realizing that our inner force is enough to start fixing things right now. This healing is not going to be easy, it's not going to be pretty, but it is definitely within our power.
So let's take these new cracks in our heart, put our fingers inside, and break our hearts all the way open. There is no room for fear, avoidance, or hate. Let the change start with you.
Give yourself the compassion and care you need. Examine your prejudices. Be actively kind to other people; see them, and hear them. Don't become complacent, don't forget, don't ignore, don't be silent. Especially those of us who are white, because that gives us the privilege to speak out in relative safety. Leverage your privilege. When you see injustice, it is your responsibility to change it.
If you can't find the words on your own, please amplify black people's voices right now. Share articles, donate to victims' families, show up at protests, and contact your elected officials.
You can't change the whole world all at once, but you can start the change. You must participate, and you must start now.
I love you, I see you, I hear you, I believe in you.
http://contactingthecongress.org/
https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials
Back in Action
After last week's quiet but intense energy, we're ready for some ACTION. The Knight of Wands brings a surge of creative energy that is moving through us whether we're ready or not. It might feel like the urge to run, dance, sing, sketch, or write at a frenetic pace. Especially if you're at a desk today. Make time to move through this energy today. If you try to block it, it'll come out as frustration, stress, losing your temper, or the unshakable desire to be anywhere but where you are now. This energy is pure creative juice and it has has to flow, so write or draw everything that comes to mind. Just let it out, and don't try to make sense of it just yet. Today feels like you can do everything all at once. Put pen to paper, and go!
Solstice and Full Moon
SOLSTICE: Queen of Swords.
This summer brings out the need for clear, direct communication, facing your truth head on, and saying it exactly how you mean it. You can experience thoughts and emotions that are not the truth (like feeling not-enough, or thinking that someone is judging you, etc). But as you're experiencing these thoughts and feelings, you will recognize that they're not true, that you can let them happen without letting them move you one inch from your truth.
FULL MOON: The Hermit, reversed.
The solitary part of the journey is over. Come up for air after deep inner explorations and bring all that you've learned into the world. You're here because other people need you; you've done this work on yourself so you can bring it to other people, too. You'll always have to revisit the hermit's cave as your journey continues, but remember to balance your outer actions with your inner ruminations. Walk your talk.
Together, this is a clear call to get out there and act on your soul's truth, whatever it may be. The world needs you to BE you, full-on, exactly how you are. Every time you speak the truth of who you are, or practice the job you're here to do, you're opening the way for others to do the same. And in turn, they'll support you as you continue on your path.
On Practice
Practice does not make perfect.
Practice is an ongoing commitment to yourself, and ongoing support of your own decisions. It's what you do every day. If you swim every day, you become a swimmer. If you write every day, you become a writer.
In a very real way, practice is your main tool for co-creating your life. It puts you in touch with the magic inherent in the physical world, because you are making things happen. You're participating in your own evolution. How cool is that!
Mastery is just another level of practice. You're not practicing until you reach some arbitrary level of "good enough." You're practicing so that you can keep practicing, and keep connecting with that spark of creation. That's what we're all working towards, no matter our type of work.