Shadow Emotions

I've been thinking a lot about the nature of the "shadow emotions," as I'm working through some old wounds and patterns. Pulling the Ace of Pentacles for this process was so beautiful. These emotions like anger, sadnesses, greed, fear — all the stuff we'd rather hide or tamp down — they're a gift of earth, given by spirit.

And this is a minor card, too. Reminding me that these emotions aren't some huge once-in-a-lifetime struggle, but just a part of everyday life. They're part of the lived experience and are just as valuable as all of the other emotions. You're not a more evolved, spiritual, enlightened person if you don't have these feelings, or more likely, if you are good at repressing them.

The only way through them, is to really experience them, to live them with our earthly bodies and minds. We can't pretend we're immune to them because we meditate or work with tarot. Nor can we push them down, or cover them up with material goods or substances. We can't even hand them off to another person. None of those methods really heal the root cause. We can accept help, but we have to take these emotions on fully, ourselves. 

That doesn't mean wallowing in sadness or stewing in anger. It means allowing the emotions to be there when they surface, not pushing them away or thinking you'll deal with them later. Whenever they come up, that is the perfect time to face them. Recognize, name, sit with them. And then get to the root of them. And that's the gift. Getting this opportunity to see yourself so clearly, and to actually heal yourself, as a part of daily life. Every day you're alive, you are given this gift anew.

On Practice

Practice does not make perfect. 

Practice is an ongoing commitment to yourself, and ongoing support of your own decisions. It's what you do every day. If you swim every day, you become a swimmer. If you write every day, you become a writer. 

In a very real way, practice is your main tool for co-creating your life. It puts you in touch with the magic inherent in the physical world, because you are making things happen. You're participating in your own evolution. How cool is that!

Mastery is just another level of practice. You're not practicing until you reach some arbitrary level of "good enough." You're practicing so that you can keep practicing, and keep connecting with that spark of creation. That's what we're all working towards, no matter our type of work.

New Moon in Taurus

Get grounded, get physical. Reflect on what you've made real, give those things the attention of your hands. Touch your art, water your plants, hug your kids. Then plant the seeds for new creations: sketch, write, make plans to meet with collaborators later this month. 

Use all that retrograde energy to through your clothes and books and sort out what you really want to see and use in your day-to-day physical life. 

Take extra good care of your body. Get it outside, lie on the grass, climb, run, hike. Eat root vegetables and new spring greens. Anytime you feel tough emotions, get into your body. This is the best time to really feel the really real way your body and spirit work together.

Pioneer Works Village Fête Tonight

I'm offering tarot readings tonight during the cocktail hour and afterparty at Pioneer Works Village Fête. So excited! Serra Victoria Bothwell Fels' Crystal Cavern is the perfect space. Stop in for some magic.

Retrograde Medicine: Vulture

Mercury is retrograde and I am INTO it. This makes 5 planets that are now retrograde. If you weren't listening the first 4 times, the message is slow the fuck down. Come to a complete halt. Stop trying to swim against the current. Let die whatever doesn't serve you, and offer it to the earth to decay and serve new life.

You know how when you plan an event, you need just as many people to clean up afterward, as to set up? That's what this time is. The divine post-party cleanup. It's not glamorous, but it is half of the total energy cycle. Death is part of life, decay is part of growing, stillness is part of moving. Think of the decomposers in nature, the less-lovely birds and beetles that break down dead things and make them part of the earth again. They're playing their part in the cycle so we can live these lives, and use these bodies. We need them. We can give back to them by feeding them the dead and dying parts of us - that's our part in the cycle.

The most important self-care for retrograde is release. Wrap up old tasks you've been putting off, then feel the mental space you get from not having to think about them anymore. Sit with your old wounds and fears, gently release them and offer them to the vulture. Know that these dead things nourish her, and her cleansing work nourishes you. In the stillness that comes after release, just rest. Stay home, chill out, take baths. Rebirth will come when the time is right.

New Animal Spirit Oracle from The Wild Unknown

The new Wild Unknown Animal Spirit prints are so gorgeous! NYC, stop by the release party at The Untitled Space tonight to get your deck and maybe a print. 

Control, please

Found this in my neighborhood and got thinking about the temptation to impress or please people. 

When we say something calculated to get a certain reaction: that someone will like us or think we're smart or funny or cool or non-threatening. That is so much hiding and blending and it's exhausting. 

A big part of that impulse to please (and hide) is fear and worry that you're not enough as you are. But I'm coming to realize how much of it is from a desire to control people. It's manipulation to say something calculated to get a certain reaction. That fear and manipulation go hand in hand, because if you can't trust that you're good enough as you are, independent of approval, you can't trust other people are strong enough to handle and accept you as you are, without your veil of compliments, jokes, and coolness. Let them be strong enough to see the real you, and let yourself be strong, too. Hold space for them to meet you eye to eye, let them surprise you with their reactions, rather than play into the scene you set. 

This is something I'm working on, myself, and I'm so grateful the amazing Michelle Sinnette has helped me get insight into my people-pleasing patterns. 

Good luck to you, fortune teller who made these postcards. Thanks for the lesson.

Tarot Reading at Pioneer Works Village Fête

I'm happy to announce I'm offering tarot readings at the Pioneer Works Village Fête cocktail hour and afterparty on May 1st. I'm so honored to be there, along with the amazing tarot reader Birdie Lawson. I hope I get to meet some of you there! 

Spring Tonic

Release: Three of Cups, reversed.

Led go of the need for validation. The comfort of validation can act as a barrier between you and your soul's work. In seeking community, are you looking to blend in? When your goal is to be liked, you're trying to gauge someone's reaction to see what you should do next to continue to get their approval. You think, if these people like you, you don't have to face the dark parts of yourself, you don't have to do the hard work of embodying your truth. You're spending energy that could be directed towards your purpose, and you're taking it so many layers away from your inner truth. You're trying to shape your life according to your interpretation of someone else's opinion. And you're trying to control people's reaction, by acting in a way you think they'll approve. Let go of caring what people think about you. You don't need to prove anything to anyone else. 

Embrace: The Hermit.

Embracing the hermit means embracing the part of you that stands alone, and seeking wisdom that can only come from within. That wisdom can only come from a disconnection with the status quo, and solitude in quiet wild places. This ties in so strongly with the release card. It is a beautiful invitation to take an inner journey, and trust what you find there. Imagine following a spark of light deep into a cave. What aspect of yourself do you find there? That's what you'll need to listen to, rather than looking to other people for your cues. 

Current Action: Ace of Cups, reversed.

All that love you've got stored up, let it out. Let the people in your life know how you feel about them, be kind to strangers, be patient when someone else is having a hard time and acting out. All that work you're doing on yourself, all that self-care, that love--is overflowing and you have enough to share. The time is now, there's nothing to be gained by waiting. And giving love in this free, flowing way, that in no way contradicts the advice of the reversed Three of Cups, or The Hermit. You can give freely, without looking for approval or reciprocation, and without bowing to pressure to give more, less, or differently.