I'm teaching my first tarot meetup and class in a few weeks. This is an idea that's been percolating since May, and now that it's happening I ran into a patch of my old ego traps. I set up a doc and started typing, and then almost immediately started thinking, "what do I know, who am I to try to teach tarot." All kinds of stuff to try to stay small. And I bought it!
I avoided working on my lesson plan for a few days. I even started to feel the flailing in my other readings. Like, "how do I know that's really what the High Priestess means here?" and "maybe this hit I got about family is just me projecting, and not really my intuition." So much fear and negative self-talk, and it felt so normal. Once I realized what was happening, it was pretty uncomfortable to break out of that rut. But all I can do is keep going. It doesn't feel soft and fluffy right now but I'm trusting myself.
So back to lesson plan writing! And obvs, since I'm on the Virgo cusp I'm planning the shit out of it. I'll probably end up with 20 pages of notes and worksheets and an agenda and a recommended reading list.
I'm really grateful for my teachers, for Lindsay Mack, who brought new depth to my tarot practice and introduced me to Michelle Sinnette. Michelle has taught me so much about ego, intuition, and the life of service. I'm grateful for the classes I've taken with Rachel Howe, Molly Burkett, Sarah Gottesdiener, and others, all amazing teachers who have given me inspiration to find my own path as a teacher. And I'm grateful for this community. Thank you for reading, and thank you for sharing your wisdom and work.